Under control again

i woke up this morning with the usual huge hard on (it is now 38 days since my last orgasm and more than a week since i released some cum from my balls which by the way have a nice shade of blue........) but something was different. It was the feeling of being owned again. i know that i still have to earn Mistress trust and probably at this stage i am not even in a trial period but most likely just in a limbo waiting for Mistress to make Her own mind to whatever or not to give me a second chance. i well know that and of course i haven't forgotten that i have so badly fucked this up and i will soon or later have to pay for it. But now i am just so happy to have the chance of chatting with Mistress again, admire Her style and worship Her as much as i can for far away. it is heaven to have a Lady like Her to report to, to depend from, to obey, to learn from, to listen to, to please, to serve and worship. Once again, i am not in control of my cock (not even a stroke this morning despite the frenetic pulsing and rock hard feeling), no idea of what to expect today, tomorrow and next week and moreover not a clue of when i will be able to stroke my cock again and experience an orgasm. That is the way i should live my life !! Somehow these thoughts made a little easier to deal with my raging hard on and get on with my life. Thank You Mistress.