Football in thong

An other piece of my masculinity has been taken away by Mistress yesterday as i was ordered to play football by wearing my sexy white thong. The actual humiliation started even before the kick off as hoping to catch Mistress in a very good and mercy mood, i asked Her is i had to wear the thong also while i was playing. At worst i was expecting a "yes you have to" answer but Mistress had more in store for me. She asked me what i was thinking about it. This put me in a loss-loss situation. i knew what Mistress wanted and i knew that my opinion/answer would count for nothing so i knew that i had to say YES, i will wear the thong but at the same time saying that will mean that i will inflict this upon me by myself. It was a quite excruciating humiliation experience as Mistress didn't let it go until i submitted and bend my will once again to Her power. i had to admit that i had to wear the thong as this was the bet and there was "nothing wrong" with that. That exchange of messages and test of willpower (or lack of it from my side) will keep me company for along time.
As for the match itself, it wasn't too bad. Yes i had to make sure that i got ready while there were no other people around and although my shorts were quite long i was constantly worrying that my thong could be visible while i was running or kicking the ball. More than usual, i was also trying to avoid any nasty crash as for sure i didn't want to be taken to an hospital in my thong....... i don't think that i could have handle my friends and the doctors face as they were removing my thong......... Thanksfully, nothing nasty happened and my cock/balls and asshole where the only one to suffer together with my dignity. The thong itself is not uncomfortable as i am now getting more and more used to wear them all day long but they are made for girls and not to hold my cock and balls in place. i am not that big but my private parts were still getting trapped in the thong elastic band causing me quite a bit of discomfort. I had to "adjust myself" quite often. The string across my asshole wasn't too bad and i could even forget about it most of the time during the game only to remind me the humiliation position i was in when the game went quite.
i still cannot believe that i have played a game of football with my friend wearing a pair of thong........if only they knew about it.

The dog leash

Finally recovering after a nasty cold/flu that kept me in bed (and not in a nice way) for the whole week-end. Still not sure what happened but i have spent the last few days with terrible headaches and cough, completely drained. As a result my mind wasn't concentrating so much on my lack of orgasm (nearly 60 days now........ unbelievable) and indeed action as my next stroking is still very far away. i wasn't also able to chat or communicate with Mistress much and i was very sad about it. Thankfully, Mistress understood my situation and i was dispensed from blogging. i kept wearing my things even when i went to see the doctor. i must say that i did think about removing them for the visit as i was afraid i had to strip for a reason or an other but then i realised that chances to strip in this occasion at the doctor were low and even if that would happen.......... it wouldn't be the end of the world. Just some extra humiliation which i am sure i deserve for all the times i have left Mistress down. Anyway, nothing happened and nobody still knows that i daily wear sexy thongs........

i am back at work now and feeling already much better especially because i was able to chat with Mistress again. i must however report of a point which i have been thinking a lot on Sunday. i suppose it was natural that not feeling well, my lust and desire to serve would also decrease and although that made harder to obey Mistress rules, my desire for stroking or an orgasm was also low so i suppose the two things balanced themselves out. But i was expecting to be completely back in my submode once i started to feel better and i must confess that this is not the case. 3 days without the constant check of Mistress over me, without Her powerful breath over my neck and i already feel less submitted. i haven't disobeyed any of Mistress orders, not taking advantage of my still poor health to be lazy and i am still very much captured by Mistress personality and power but i do feel that a few days without a constant reminded that i am a slave in training made me less determined to improve and be a good slave. This morning chat with Mistress seems to have re-established the right order of things as i feel now again frustrated with my lack of sexual activities, humiliated by a strong and powerful Lady who i wish i could worship the ground She walks on. i am sure Mistress will find the way to tie the leash that has gone a bit loose in the last few days and push me into new submissiveness........ and i cannot wait for this. i am happy to feel better but more importantly i am happy to feel under Mistress power and control again.

I did it again !

it is a sad blog as i have to report that once again i have left Mistress down. i have forgot to follow a simple instruction such as blogging once again despite having the time and opportunity to do it. Why? Simply because i am not a good slave. Clearly i am still having difficulties in following orders especially when i don't like them. it is something that i recognise is lacking in me as a slave and i really wish i could change, be trained, learned to do it. Obviously wanting this is not enough as i keep slacking when i have the chance. Having Mistress to control and check on me (this is my first real experience with a woman having so much control and check on me) is definitely pushing me in the right direction. My only experiences with Mistress so far where with occasional professionals and at most 1 night events. In such circumstances there wasn't much chance for me not to follow orders (whatever i like them or not). Once i was back into my routine and life without a Mistress to check on me........ i could pretty much do whatever i wanted. i am now learning that if i want to be a good slave i need to ..... follow orders. As simple as that. i need to do what i am told. i need to learn that and be good at that. Mistress punishments will definitely push me in the right direction too as Mistress can be very strict and severe when needed. i know that She doesn't forget and there is no chance in talking Her out of it. She is also a smart woman and i cannot foll Her. As i am appreciating this i now know that there is no way around. Again, i need to do as i am told, no other way. The punishments inflicted as harsh and i got the feeling that they are escalating in intensity as now 3 more points have been deducted from my bonus (i was at 9 and now at 4.......this is nearly bringing tears to my eyes) and i blow my chance of an orgasm........ Hell knows when it will be next. A part from letting Mistress down and the punishment that i will have to deal with, i need to find a way to motivate me to follow orders when i don't like them. i suppose, practise will make me improve like for everything and as we go along my commitment is stronger and more and more sincere. i really hope i can show that to Mistress. i know that i shouldn't look at the good things that i have done as they may sound like excuses but it is a way to remind me that i am progress in the right direction (although taking some steps back occasionally). i did buy 6 pair of thong (i have never ever bought women clothes for me before and i didn't particularly enjoyed it doing it) and i am wearing them day and night constantly (although it was exciting initially, i am now left with discomfort and unpracticality for more than a month). i know they are only small things and i shouldn't blow my own trumpet but i hope these are signs of my commitment and will motivate me to improve as i indeed like when i am controlled by Mistress and when i can make Her happy and proud of me.

Being a whore

Just when i thought that i had reached the rock bottom, Mistress finds the way to push me a little be more and make me experience new level of submission. In the last couple of days being able to serve Mistress via webcam has really made a big difference and somehow reducing the distance problem. Being ordered live through the webcam and moreover performing for Mistress on webcam has provided Mistress a new better way to express Her power over me ....... and as a consequence i have felt like a whore like never before in my life. There have been several episodes that have highlighted my submission condition and the fact that i am indeed her bitch. First of all is the fact that i am indeed at Her beck and call. It has happen now 2 times already that i was busy doing something or indeed sleeping when Mistress buzzed me and i had to leave enery thing and run to answer Her call, reporting to Her and performing for Her just like a whore or better a monkey. Although though, it is such a rush to be waken up by Mistress buzz, to jump out of bed straggling to open my eyes and walk but happy that Mistress has time and willingness to see me, chat with me, use me for Her amusement. Never experienced something like that before and it is indeed what i dreamed real slavery to be all about. Similarly, i was ordered to leave the webcam on to have Mistress watching me while i sleep in my sexy thong. i still cannot believe it that i was showing Her how i was sleeping in my sexy thong. it was an incredible rush and soooooooooo humiliating.

The second point was the performances that i have been ordered to do for Her on cam. i was ordered to fuck my ass with the butt plug but manually without the vibrating bullet. This is again a typical example of the way Mistress continuously affirms Her power over me. It is not just the physical discomfort of having to fuck myself (the butt plug is not that big but it still hurts when it goes in the first time) and the humiliation act of pushing something up my ass while showing it to a Lady for Her amusement, but also the fact that Mistress ordered me to do it manually without the vibrating bullet that somehow i am very curious to try. It is a bit like no touching my cock. i know it is there, i would love to grab it, use it, see how it feels like it but Mistress doesn't let me do it. She just teases me with the but plug or sexy talk to make me think about my cock and the bullet but prohibits me to use them. Such a mind blowing torture that continuously reaffirms who is in charge. i had also the opportunity to stroke for Mistress. Finally a few seconds (i don't think i actually reached 1 minute) of stroking action supervised by Mistress. A part from the very short length of it, the fact that i had to let it go when she said it... immediately... it was like putting a clear stamp on my mind that i belong to Her in body and soul. There is now no mistake: I AM HER BITCH !!

The little stroking also teased me enough to make me remember that i am now at day 53..... i guess it is my new record and my balls are red and swollen......... i need to release some cum and i would do anything for being milked. Taking advantage of the webcam option i am ready to spank myself as much and as hard as Mistress directs me to do it or maybe slap my balls and perform any thing She wishes (lick my own cum, post orgasm torture with the bullet, milking with bullet......) just to release some of the cum in my balls.

Plugged

Today is plug day. Not sure what is in store for me but i know that today is the day that i will regret to squeeze my cock against Mistress orders. As ordered i have purchased a butt plug and the experience itself was humiliating. i have been in a sex shop before but this time i was there to buy a butt plug for myself and somehow i was very nervous like everyone else knew what i was after. i had a quick look around and found some huge butt plugs. They were indeed scary. i could probably have inserted one of those (i mean the small of those in display) up my ass but definitely not been able to keep it up there for more than a few minutes. i went over and over all the butt plugs in display trying to somehow discover a small one, one that looked comfortable and small enough for me but with no luck. Eventually after a few minutes the shop assistant approached me offering his help. He was a gay guy which of course understood why i was in that section of the shop. i wished it was a lady but a guy was even more humiliating. i know that Mistress wanted me to buy the butt plug and i wasn't going to let Her down. In a normal circumstance, i would have declined his help and eventually walked away from teh shop with no plug. BUT I HAD TO GET A PLUG. so i bite my lips and asked for a small butt plug. You should have seen the smile on his face....... how humiliating. Anyway, he did help me and got a couple of small butt plugs. A red one and blue one. Similar size, about 10cm long and 2 cm smallest diameter (that is 4 inches long and 0.5 inch diameter). The blue plug was interesting as it has an electric device attached to it and the guy offered to show me how it works. No no inserting it up his ass (or worst mine) but simply opening the box. It basically has a silver bullet which vibrates and is attached to a remote control. the bullet can be inserted in the butt plug so to provide "... endless anal fun" that is what it says on the box. As it was possible to use the plug by itself, i went for the blue one. i was very happy as i left the shop and wanted to try it as soon as possible. But Mistress orders were clear and i had to wait until this morning. i am now writing it well plugged. It was realtively easy to insert the plug (well lube) and the thong is keeping it well in place. i must say that the plug looked big initially but as i inserted it sort of easy up my ass i though that i had probably better go for a bigger one. However, as i am writing this blog i can feel my asshole stretching and a mild buring/itching all around it. i am constantly aware of the butt plug up my ass, stretching me and reminding me of what a slut i am. The thought of having to wear it for at least next 4-5 hours is the real torture now. i am also very worry as i am in public at work. i hope that nothing make it obvious or that the plug doesn't come out. So the uncomfortable feeling, the humiliation, the worrying..... i guess that is all part of the punishment. i am sorry Mistress. i am so sorry i have disobeyed You.